Well so I decided to stop being such a lazy ass and go do something this weekend.
Friday night I picked up a shift and worked till 10ish. This guy Shawn from work invited me to smoke with him and a couple people after work so I called him when I got off and went to Darius' apartment (nother guy from work). I show up and theres like 6 people from work there. It was a weird situation cuz Id never hung out with anyone from work. Everyone was really friendly but I just felt uncomfortable, I dont know why...I just did. All the guys started playing poker and I of course didnt know how to play, so I watched. But you know guys cant let a girl just sit there, drink, and not do anything....so they had me play with them. I had no idea what I was doing and this guy Ryan tried to explain it to me and I kept saying "I know dude, but..." and he just looked at me, gave me the weirdest look ever and said "dude??? wow." They prolly thought I was a huge dumbass. No...wait, I know they thought I was a huge dumbass. I ended up staying till 330ish, where I get a text from Shawn saying "hey". Im sitting right across from you, what the fuck? So I was like ok sure Ill play this dumb game, and I said hey back. I got up to leave, got in my car and got another text saying "i like u". Ive only hung out with him twice now, seen him run game on every girl at red lobster, and he knows nothing about me. I just started laughing and sent him a text back saying "get the fuck outta here" He mustve thought I was being sarcastic and said "its that obviously? im sorry". No dumbass. I had to explain that I didnt believe him and he was like "im tellin the truth". First of all this guy is 24-25, somewhere around there, I dont quite know. So youre gunna send me a text message (real mature) at 4am, drunk, tellin me you like me?? how? on top of you? GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!
The next day at work, I got guys callin me baby and shit.
Fuuuuccckkkkkk I miss my boys.
Saturday when I got off work, I was tired as fuck, so I took a nap. I woke up and decided Id try to find something to do, and get someone to go get some food with me, but no one answered so I got some chinese food. I called Ali, cuz I figured I should prolly just go hang out with her once, she didnt answer. Andrew called me back and met me there, and we just rolled around and smoked a lil bit. Ali ends up callin me back, sayin shes at her apt with her sister and a bunch of 16yr olds and that I should come over and keep her company. Well of course, Andrew didnt wanna do that shit, so I tried to prolong going there. Man, that girl is crazy. Callin me 5 times, tellin me to hurry up, tellin her Ill call her back, but she calls me back, textin me and shit. What the fuck! Anyway..I texted Jake earlier to see what he was up to, and said he was working till 11 so I went over to his house when he got off. It was cool to chill with him n Scott, even though we didnt have anything to do. I think they felt like they had to impress me or something and find something to do so I wouldnt be bored , but I really just wanted to chill. I wasnt bored at all.
Im finding a lot of people think they have to impress me. What is that? Sure I may be an attractive girl but just be yourself, fuck I dont care. Maybe I just give off some vibe or something, I dont know.
Today I went to York to eat at Chances R, the same restraunt we always eat at for my grandma or grandpas birthday. That whole meal was just depressing. I got my aunt asking my mom stuff about me when Im not even 4ft away from her, my dad complaining about the service, and treating me like Im a 10 yr old girl. Then theres my grandpa rambling on about god knows what, and everyone just feels awkward. Its like sitting down and eating with a bunch of strangers everytime. I really just wanted to get up and leave.
Speaking of family, my moms really driving me crazy. Its always something with her, everyday. I dont know if shes nosey, or if shes paranoid, or what...but shes always gotta know what I'm doing. I went to return season 2 of sopranos and I come back maybe 10mins later and shes yellin at me askin where I went, and itd be nice if I told her and If I called. What the fuck? Im not fuckin 15 yrs old here. Why do I always have to tell her where Im going, what time I work, who just called me, when Ill be home, who Im hangin out with, how I know them......crazy bull shit. Im tired of it. Its soooo fuckin old. I dont know if I can stand it for much longer. Its making me go crazy. I know I sound like a little teenage girl when I say this, but she really doesnt understand anything at all, let alone anything about me.
School and work are the only things keepin me goin right now.......
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Library time
55mins till the easiest test in the world. Its all essay and vocab, and he gave us a sheet to write whatever we want and use it on the test. A fuckin joke....thats what that is.
I don't have anything else to talk about, except bitch about school.
Today has been good. Biology was actually fun for a little bit, (mostly because I was being hit on and flirted with the whole time), so that made me laugh the majority of the class. When we were taking notes the guy next to me was like "Why don't you just highlight everything in your book?" And I said, "Cuz I don't have a book, dumbass" I hope he didn't take offense to it, he kind of got quiet after that. I'm not tryin to be mean, thats just how I joke around sometimes. Of course he doesn't really know me so he prolly got offended. Some of those guys are really immature, and dumb, and I'm always pointing out the obvious to them and it prolly pisses them off...oh well. I'm probably going to be screwed for the next test, so I'm thinking I should start studying a week ahead. I finally got enough money to get my book...$100. SWEET!
My algebra class is killin me. My teacher doesn't know what shes doing half the time and asks us to correct her if shes wrong. Shouldn't she know the material? Shes the one teaching it! We got our first test back yesterday and she put problems on there that weren't even in the chapters we learned and told us "I like to throw a couple of those in there, but they're not worth as much" What the fuck?!?!? Yesterday we learned a new section. Her way of teaching is putting a problem on the board, giving us a few mins to do it, sharing our answer with the person next to us, THEN her going over how to do the problem. Whaaaat?! After a good 45mins of that, she gives us a quiz 5mins before class is over. Are you serious? Granted Ive already learned the shit, but fuck I don't remember. I took algebra Freshman year of high school. I wonder if theres some way I can get a new teacher, cuz she sucks.
Right now I'm hiding from my annoying co-worker. I have a 2hr break in between Biology and History and when I'm not here, Lyndsey said hell be looking around for me and asking where Im at.....sweet. On Monday he asked what days I work and I told him Tues and Thurs and he fuckin comes into work last night and eats. I was tryin to act like I didnt see him but he was looking around for me and saw me and told me to come over. I did and he said he was all worried about our test today. Whats there to be worried about? He gave us a sheet to write all the answers on AND use on the test...come on...
Thats probably enough bitching for today.
On a good note....Gap called yesterday and wanted to set up a group interview tom night, but I work so they said they'd call me back, and they haven't yet...so who knows.
I don't have anything else to talk about, except bitch about school.
Today has been good. Biology was actually fun for a little bit, (mostly because I was being hit on and flirted with the whole time), so that made me laugh the majority of the class. When we were taking notes the guy next to me was like "Why don't you just highlight everything in your book?" And I said, "Cuz I don't have a book, dumbass" I hope he didn't take offense to it, he kind of got quiet after that. I'm not tryin to be mean, thats just how I joke around sometimes. Of course he doesn't really know me so he prolly got offended. Some of those guys are really immature, and dumb, and I'm always pointing out the obvious to them and it prolly pisses them off...oh well. I'm probably going to be screwed for the next test, so I'm thinking I should start studying a week ahead. I finally got enough money to get my book...$100. SWEET!
My algebra class is killin me. My teacher doesn't know what shes doing half the time and asks us to correct her if shes wrong. Shouldn't she know the material? Shes the one teaching it! We got our first test back yesterday and she put problems on there that weren't even in the chapters we learned and told us "I like to throw a couple of those in there, but they're not worth as much" What the fuck?!?!? Yesterday we learned a new section. Her way of teaching is putting a problem on the board, giving us a few mins to do it, sharing our answer with the person next to us, THEN her going over how to do the problem. Whaaaat?! After a good 45mins of that, she gives us a quiz 5mins before class is over. Are you serious? Granted Ive already learned the shit, but fuck I don't remember. I took algebra Freshman year of high school. I wonder if theres some way I can get a new teacher, cuz she sucks.
Right now I'm hiding from my annoying co-worker. I have a 2hr break in between Biology and History and when I'm not here, Lyndsey said hell be looking around for me and asking where Im at.....sweet. On Monday he asked what days I work and I told him Tues and Thurs and he fuckin comes into work last night and eats. I was tryin to act like I didnt see him but he was looking around for me and saw me and told me to come over. I did and he said he was all worried about our test today. Whats there to be worried about? He gave us a sheet to write all the answers on AND use on the test...come on...
Thats probably enough bitching for today.
On a good note....Gap called yesterday and wanted to set up a group interview tom night, but I work so they said they'd call me back, and they haven't yet...so who knows.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Bored
I just got off work. It was busy, and kinda stressful but $84 later, I was happy. Gap hasn't called yet, so Ive been tryin to pick up shifts. I don't know if they will call or not, since I asked for $8 an hour, but who knows. I'm really not making a whole lot for 2 days a week. Even though I hate that job, I just keep tellin myself its for the money. I went to Jensen tire the other day and they said it'd be around $230 to fix my left head light. So thats not gunna happen anytime soon, but I fixed my break light. wooop.
I saw Andrea, Sissy and Jaz today before I went to work. Sissy's all moved into Keith's room and its fuckin weird. They seem like they're doin alright, its just a whole lot quieter around there. It makes me sad, but it was good to see them. Andrea told me to move up there with them and that made me wanna cry all over again.
I cant stop thinking about it. I'm just worried and scared. I'm tryin to look on the bright side, but I don't see it right now. I feel like I'm stuck here and I don't know what I'm doing, or where I'm going. It's just this incredibly weird feeling.
I'm officially hooked on the Sopranos. I cant stop watching it. I'm almost half way through the first season. Its fuckin awesome.
I don't know what else to say.
Biology tomorrow.......8am.
I saw Andrea, Sissy and Jaz today before I went to work. Sissy's all moved into Keith's room and its fuckin weird. They seem like they're doin alright, its just a whole lot quieter around there. It makes me sad, but it was good to see them. Andrea told me to move up there with them and that made me wanna cry all over again.
I cant stop thinking about it. I'm just worried and scared. I'm tryin to look on the bright side, but I don't see it right now. I feel like I'm stuck here and I don't know what I'm doing, or where I'm going. It's just this incredibly weird feeling.
I'm officially hooked on the Sopranos. I cant stop watching it. I'm almost half way through the first season. Its fuckin awesome.
I don't know what else to say.
Biology tomorrow.......8am.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Day One
Alright first blog for the world the see....
My best friend is gone, and I still cant make it seem real in my head. I'm going to miss him and Alan so much. I'm sad but at the same time, I don't want to think about it. I know they're just gunna have the time of their lives, and I'm afraid they'll forget all about everyone here. Maybe not, I don't know whats gunna happen. Right now it just sucks.
Last night Lynds and I went to a wedding reception for this girl Megan that I used to work with at Steinmart. Ever since Ive know her, thats been her #1 dream, and she looked so happy. I wasnt sure if she wanted me to be there, cuz we kind of ended on a bad note, but she told Lynds to invite me. When we got there she didnt really acknowledge that I was even there so I felt awkward, but we started drinking and it was somewhat alright. I got to see some old coworkers and saw that my manager was drinking again after just being sober for a couple years and going to rehab. That made me sad, but what can you do? It made me miss Steinmart a little bit. If all the original people were still there from the beginning, Id deff go back. I made some good friends out of that job.
We left around 10 and didn't want to go home then, so we tried to find a party and ended up at Ryan's friends apt. We didn't know anyone except Ryan and Turner and the 2 other guys both had their girls there. So me and Lynds kind of kept to ourselves and sat outside on the porch just talkin about memories/whats goin on in our lives. It was a good time.
I think I'm gunna stop smoking. I just really need to clear my head right now. I turned in my app for Gap yesterday and hopefully they hire me back. (I dont know why they wouldn't, but you never know). I'm just gunna work my ass off, and keep myself busy constantly.
I want to stay focused.
I want to get out of my house, out of this city, and out of this state.
And for once, I just want to be alone.
Today I didn't do a whole lot of anything. I layed on the couch for a couple hrs, crying bcuz my fucking alarm didnt go off and then decided to go for a run. Then I went to rent the sopranos (season1) and just check it out/keep myself occupied. No ones called all day, and I dont really mind. I just want to sit here and chill. I dont really feel like hanging out with anyone.
Thats all I got
Peace
My best friend is gone, and I still cant make it seem real in my head. I'm going to miss him and Alan so much. I'm sad but at the same time, I don't want to think about it. I know they're just gunna have the time of their lives, and I'm afraid they'll forget all about everyone here. Maybe not, I don't know whats gunna happen. Right now it just sucks.
Last night Lynds and I went to a wedding reception for this girl Megan that I used to work with at Steinmart. Ever since Ive know her, thats been her #1 dream, and she looked so happy. I wasnt sure if she wanted me to be there, cuz we kind of ended on a bad note, but she told Lynds to invite me. When we got there she didnt really acknowledge that I was even there so I felt awkward, but we started drinking and it was somewhat alright. I got to see some old coworkers and saw that my manager was drinking again after just being sober for a couple years and going to rehab. That made me sad, but what can you do? It made me miss Steinmart a little bit. If all the original people were still there from the beginning, Id deff go back. I made some good friends out of that job.
We left around 10 and didn't want to go home then, so we tried to find a party and ended up at Ryan's friends apt. We didn't know anyone except Ryan and Turner and the 2 other guys both had their girls there. So me and Lynds kind of kept to ourselves and sat outside on the porch just talkin about memories/whats goin on in our lives. It was a good time.
I think I'm gunna stop smoking. I just really need to clear my head right now. I turned in my app for Gap yesterday and hopefully they hire me back. (I dont know why they wouldn't, but you never know). I'm just gunna work my ass off, and keep myself busy constantly.
I want to stay focused.
I want to get out of my house, out of this city, and out of this state.
And for once, I just want to be alone.
Today I didn't do a whole lot of anything. I layed on the couch for a couple hrs, crying bcuz my fucking alarm didnt go off and then decided to go for a run. Then I went to rent the sopranos (season1) and just check it out/keep myself occupied. No ones called all day, and I dont really mind. I just want to sit here and chill. I dont really feel like hanging out with anyone.
Thats all I got
Peace
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