Weekend

Well so I decided to stop being such a lazy ass and go do something this weekend.

Friday night I picked up a shift and worked till 10ish. This guy Shawn from work invited me to smoke with him and a couple people after work so I called him when I got off and went to Darius' apartment (nother guy from work). I show up and theres like 6 people from work there. It was a weird situation cuz Id never hung out with anyone from work. Everyone was really friendly but I just felt uncomfortable, I dont know why...I just did. All the guys started playing poker and I of course didnt know how to play, so I watched. But you know guys cant let a girl just sit there, drink, and not do anything....so they had me play with them. I had no idea what I was doing and this guy Ryan tried to explain it to me and I kept saying "I know dude, but..." and he just looked at me, gave me the weirdest look ever and said "dude??? wow." They prolly thought I was a huge dumbass. No...wait, I know they thought I was a huge dumbass. I ended up staying till 330ish, where I get a text from Shawn saying "hey". Im sitting right across from you, what the fuck? So I was like ok sure Ill play this dumb game, and I said hey back. I got up to leave, got in my car and got another text saying "i like u". Ive only hung out with him twice now, seen him run game on every girl at red lobster, and he knows nothing about me. I just started laughing and sent him a text back saying "get the fuck outta here" He mustve thought I was being sarcastic and said "its that obviously? im sorry". No dumbass. I had to explain that I didnt believe him and he was like "im tellin the truth". First of all this guy is 24-25, somewhere around there, I dont quite know. So youre gunna send me a text message (real mature) at 4am, drunk, tellin me you like me?? how? on top of you? GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

The next day at work, I got guys callin me baby and shit.

Fuuuuccckkkkkk I miss my boys.

Saturday when I got off work, I was tired as fuck, so I took a nap. I woke up and decided Id try to find something to do, and get someone to go get some food with me, but no one answered so I got some chinese food. I called Ali, cuz I figured I should prolly just go hang out with her once, she didnt answer. Andrew called me back and met me there, and we just rolled around and smoked a lil bit. Ali ends up callin me back, sayin shes at her apt with her sister and a bunch of 16yr olds and that I should come over and keep her company. Well of course, Andrew didnt wanna do that shit, so I tried to prolong going there. Man, that girl is crazy. Callin me 5 times, tellin me to hurry up, tellin her Ill call her back, but she calls me back, textin me and shit. What the fuck! Anyway..I texted Jake earlier to see what he was up to, and said he was working till 11 so I went over to his house when he got off. It was cool to chill with him n Scott, even though we didnt have anything to do. I think they felt like they had to impress me or something and find something to do so I wouldnt be bored , but I really just wanted to chill. I wasnt bored at all.

Im finding a lot of people think they have to impress me. What is that? Sure I may be an attractive girl but just be yourself, fuck I dont care. Maybe I just give off some vibe or something, I dont know.


Today I went to York to eat at Chances R, the same restraunt we always eat at for my grandma or grandpas birthday. That whole meal was just depressing. I got my aunt asking my mom stuff about me when Im not even 4ft away from her, my dad complaining about the service, and treating me like Im a 10 yr old girl. Then theres my grandpa rambling on about god knows what, and everyone just feels awkward. Its like sitting down and eating with a bunch of strangers everytime. I really just wanted to get up and leave.


Speaking of family, my moms really driving me crazy. Its always something with her, everyday. I dont know if shes nosey, or if shes paranoid, or what...but shes always gotta know what I'm doing. I went to return season 2 of sopranos and I come back maybe 10mins later and shes yellin at me askin where I went, and itd be nice if I told her and If I called. What the fuck? Im not fuckin 15 yrs old here. Why do I always have to tell her where Im going, what time I work, who just called me, when Ill be home, who Im hangin out with, how I know them......crazy bull shit. Im tired of it. Its soooo fuckin old. I dont know if I can stand it for much longer. Its making me go crazy. I know I sound like a little teenage girl when I say this, but she really doesnt understand anything at all, let alone anything about me.


School and work are the only things keepin me goin right now.......