Day One

Alright first blog for the world the see....

My best friend is gone, and I still cant make it seem real in my head. I'm going to miss him and Alan so much. I'm sad but at the same time, I don't want to think about it. I know they're just gunna have the time of their lives, and I'm afraid they'll forget all about everyone here. Maybe not, I don't know whats gunna happen. Right now it just sucks.

Last night Lynds and I went to a wedding reception for this girl Megan that I used to work with at Steinmart. Ever since Ive know her, thats been her #1 dream, and she looked so happy. I wasnt sure if she wanted me to be there, cuz we kind of ended on a bad note, but she told Lynds to invite me. When we got there she didnt really acknowledge that I was even there so I felt awkward, but we started drinking and it was somewhat alright. I got to see some old coworkers and saw that my manager was drinking again after just being sober for a couple years and going to rehab. That made me sad, but what can you do? It made me miss Steinmart a little bit. If all the original people were still there from the beginning, Id deff go back. I made some good friends out of that job.

We left around 10 and didn't want to go home then, so we tried to find a party and ended up at Ryan's friends apt. We didn't know anyone except Ryan and Turner and the 2 other guys both had their girls there. So me and Lynds kind of kept to ourselves and sat outside on the porch just talkin about memories/whats goin on in our lives. It was a good time.

I think I'm gunna stop smoking. I just really need to clear my head right now. I turned in my app for Gap yesterday and hopefully they hire me back. (I dont know why they wouldn't, but you never know). I'm just gunna work my ass off, and keep myself busy constantly.

I want to stay focused.
I want to get out of my house, out of this city, and out of this state.
And for once, I just want to be alone.


Today I didn't do a whole lot of anything. I layed on the couch for a couple hrs, crying bcuz my fucking alarm didnt go off and then decided to go for a run. Then I went to rent the sopranos (season1) and just check it out/keep myself occupied. No ones called all day, and I dont really mind. I just want to sit here and chill. I dont really feel like hanging out with anyone.

Thats all I got

Peace